Kelita

Gifts From the HEART

2011-02-04T08:19:00.000-08:00

Before Facebook was even thought of, I was reconnecting with people from my past through my kelita.com website. I was always amazed at who would come across my computer!

Well a few years ago I received an email from someone I hadn't had any contact with since I was a mere 12 years old back in Claresholm, Alberta! And yes I think he even had a crush on me. It was great to hear from Bob and also his wife Lynn. She recalled the crazy highschool skiing trip where she listened to me playing and singing at the grand piano in the beautiful Banff Springs Hotel.

Bob grew very interested in my music and was intrigued in how this 'gift' had helped me navigate my own healing journey. Bob was beginning to look at his own at the time and ordered every single one of my CD's. But I believe what may have inspired Bob the most was how I was now able to use that gift to raise awareness and aid for little girls in Cambodia rescued the evils of sexual slavery.

As we developed a new friendship Bob made it known that he wanted to use his 'gift' and raise some support for these brave young survivors. Of course I was 100 % behind him and very thankful that he was inspired to give back. Bob had found a mission! Bob is an auto mechanic by trade and loves working on vehicles so he was going to find a truck, fix it up and then sell it with 100% of the profits going to the girls at our NewSong centre in Cambodia through Ratanak International.

Through a series of major ups and downs, frustrations and set backs, not to mention back and shoulder surgery, Bob never once wavered from his good intent. Every now and then he would send off an email expressing his disappointment but I just said, "When it's done it's done Bob. Don't worry. God is in control".

Well I am happy to announce that after nearly 3 years, the 'charity truck', as Bob and Lynn liked to call it, has been sold and a cheque for $6,000.00 is on it's way to enable more girls to be rescued from sexual abuse and torture in Cambodia.

I am so proud of Bob and Lynn for seeing the vision through to completion. Yes, I have inspired them, but they in turn have really encouraged me through their shere determination and dedication to a cause that has become dear to their hearts.

We are all capable of so much if we catch the vision, hold onto it, and then allow the compassion to propel us to a new place that changes our own hearts and the lives of others.

Now that's an amazing Valentine!

God Bless you Bob and Lynn and THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

Kelita

Flush the Fat!

2011-01-06T12:01:00.000-08:00

Hello Faithful Followers,

Well, yesterday I blew the being good in the food dept. I like what my girlfriend Liz says ,(and she should know she's lost 100 whopping pounds!!). You have to have the 80/20 rule. If you're good 80% of the time then you aren't depriving yourself too much, which can then lead into total failure.

I was at friends last night and we were watching the final Jr Hockey game and they ordered PIZZA!! I love pizza but it is sooooo bad. Yes and there were Lindor chocolates and Turtles sitting right under my nose at the table where I sat and so....you guessed it, I caved. This was the first Turtle I had had all holidays. Gee- it was good, but went so fast. Not sure it was worth it. Just like anything that's tempting it's so easy to take the first bite and just put all self control aside and dive in for more. And this is just a little chocolate we're talking about!

I also got so wrapped up in work that I didn't make it to the gym yesterday either.

Ok so today has been much better.

Something that I have been doing, which I forgot to mention is dry body brushing first thing in the morning. Check this link out and you'll be amazed how important this little discipline is.
http://http://www.naturalhealthtechniques.com/healingtechniques/dry_brushing_technique.htm

I have been drinking lots of herbal tea and that helps me stay hydrated and flushes toxins,...including fat. I prefer that to drinking boring old water. There are so many varieties of herbal teas and I find them comforting as well. One of my favorites is Eygptian Licorice. It has a natural sweetner as well.

Hope you're doing well today!

Your friend
Kelita

Doing Well - TODAY!

2011-01-03T13:13:00.000-08:00

My day started with drinking lemon and hot water which is great for the body. This should be a morning ritual for everyone. Check out all the benefits.

http://http//www.lookgreat-loseweight-savemoney.com/lemon-water.html

Later on I pushed myself hard on the elliptical at the gym and then did some stretching for my bad lower back and some dips for my poor sagging arms. That one I can blame on the genes. I felt like I had really worked out (did 40 minutes cardio and burned 514 calories) YAY!!!!

Don't know if it was the response my mind had from the cardio but I had so many amazing ideas coming after I was finished. The creative juices were really flowing and I wished I'd had a piece of paper to write everything down on.

I got my errands done that I set out to do and am now home. I stuck to my plan and didn't manage to get off course. This is all part of new year's 'doing'. Takes discipline for me. I sometimes wonder if I don't have a little ADD... or maybe alot.

So far so good.

Kelita

How Are You Going to DO??

2011-01-01T10:05:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

You wouldn't really know it's New Year's Day here because it feels like spring. I hate the cold anyway so this is wonderful. Toronto is the hot spot in Canada sitting at 10 degrees C.

Ah - the new year, what will it do? Or should I say what will I do?

I really AM going to do my best to eat well and exercise for real. I do both of these things but over the fall months I really took the path of least resistance. I ate whatever I felt like ( including our Christmas dinner dessert - chocolate bread pudding with bourban caramel pecan sauce ) and worked out enough just to say I got off my butt and moved around. When you already have a good metabolism and in comparison to the average person, have a very healthy diet, you can get by. BUT I know I can do better and I want to...it's just having the discipline that's all.

I certainly can apply that to SO many areas of my life. If I am honest, I am by nature, very lazy.
But I don't like it.

So January 1st rolls around and once again I have great intentions for working at being my best self. To honour and respect my body, mind, spirit and soul. To improve all these areas surely will lead to a better me and not just for myself but for those around me. Sounds simple enough doesn't it?

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
Romans 7:15

I will let you know how I am doing.

All the very best with whatever it is you will be doing for 2011.

Peace

Kelita

Deep Dark Secrets

2010-11-10T07:25:00.000-08:00

Sexual abuse is not something I would choose to write about because it's not a pleasant topic by any means. However, it is something that I spend allot of time dealing with on many different levels. I half jokingly said to a friend the other day, I'm in ministry and it's all about sex!

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse
Members of my family are as well
Many of my friends are survivors of the same
I meet and hear from many women and men who are survivors
I hear from women whose children have been victims
I professionally speak and sing about my own experience
I am a justice advocate and fundraiser for Cambodian children rescued from the child sextrade

My heart is completely broken every time I hear about another case in the newspaper or see a story on TV. It's like this hidden crime is now in your face more and more everyday. And it's no longer just a crime focused on females. The situation isn't getting better but worse... all around our world.

There are over 1.2 million children in our world today who are victims of child exploitation. The buying and selling of little children for sex and pornography is a multi billion dollar business.

My newest CD "Heart of a Woman" gives me the platform to sing an old, but never released song, Deep Dark Secret. Unusual Child, written about my half brother who was one of my perpetrators and one of my most popular songs has been redone for this CD. I have healed through these parts of my life but I strongly desire to encourage others to heal through their's. I know from my own experience there is freedom beyond the pain.

Once we can get to that place of feeling then the healing begins. For too long so many have kept their dark secrets just that - secret. It is only when we expose the darkness to the Light that we can begin to let go of the shame and take healthy responsiblity for our own healing journey. We must if we are to live a life of wholeness and be an example for our children and grandchildren.

I hope that through my new music I can continue to inspire both men, women and children to be brave enough to face their own secrets head on and allow God to be there with them step by step.

November 19 - is the International Prevention of Child Abuse Day http://http//www.waece.org/contenidoingles/abuse/prevention.php

Empty Nest

2010-08-30T12:16:00.001-07:00

One more week until my one and only little bird flies away. He is going to be a university student in exactly one week's time. On one hand I am so happy for him to have that experience but this mama bird has been having a hard time lately. It's not been a great summer for me in many ways and I will be so glad when the summer of 2010 is only a distant memory.

In some ways I feel like the same over emotional woman that I was about this time 17 years ago as I cried when I saw pregnant women and literally bawled in prenatal classes when I saw the movie where the baby was shown being born. It's a huge time of growth and change. Both are necessary but both are painful.

Where have the years gone? Is this the end of the era? I know that things must change as they are meant to but my heart is having a hard time adjusting to this new season in our lives. (yes I am crying as I am typing....and playing the Spa Channel with music being played in a minor key is not helping any either)

It's true when they say that menopause often brings to the forefront those places in ourselves that haven't been healed from our pasts. Well - what great timing, as I currently experience a lack of hormones and the emotional empty nest syndrome which all has me reflecting on my own sad experience of leaving the nest. But I was glad to leave my nest. No, the sad part comes with the lack of concern, care and love from the step parents that didn't know how to parent when I left home, or when I was in the home for that matter.

So I guess it's OK to cry out my tears not only for my son's departure but for the residue of pain that I never dared the chance to experience when I was 18 as I traveled 2,200 miles all alone to start university and a new life in Toronto. I already had too much grief to deal with in my teen years. Interesting how God has a way of allowing us to be protected even from ourselves when the weight of pain at a particular time just might be too much for us to bear. So now as a mom He gives me the opportunity to stop and care enough for that young scared girl who entered a whole new world all on her own 34 years ago. And to love her.

I am proud of myself for having the God given healthy instincts and knowledge to be a loving, nurturing and caring mother who now has the wisdom to know it's time for her son to fly...all on his own.

It's Never About ME!

2010-06-15T19:13:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I sang at an event where; let's just say there were a few more that an audient. An audient is one person! I am always grateful for the opportunity to perform but sometimes when the audience is smaller than your immediate family, including the dog, it's hard work to get pumped up to do a 90 minute concert where you have to sing, make people laugh and share your inner most heartfelt thoughts that you hope will inspire and encourage others.

It's hard to be real honest at times, but here I am being very transparent, because I am trying to be really real on my blog. I don't think I'm alone when I say we all have thoughts that even we don't want to admit to ourselves. Well, when I walked out and saw there were less than 20 women in the crowd, I seriously wanted to cry. I also wanted to turn around and leave! I just didn't feel at that moment that I had the strength to do what was required of me. NOTE: This was a millisecond but none the less the quick thought did enter my mind.

"Suck it up Kelita", I said to myself. "These women have come out just to hear you tonight so please respect them and do what you always do." I have been in a similar position before but when you've been doing this for a living for over 25 years this kind of a night never seems to get any easier. You really would prefer to perform to more than less people. Who wouldn't? A performer gains so much energy from the crowd and their response. It makes the evening more rewarding not only for the artist but the audience as well.

As I arrived on the stage the music started and I belted out my opening song and smiled like there were hundreds of adoring fans. I knew I was there to sing, speak and be funny for this intimate crowd of ladies and give them my very best, in spite of what I had been feeling. The 90 minutes went by rather quickly and I found myself enjoying myself as I always do inspite of the circumstances. When the concert was over I made sure I met every single woman individually and thanks to one special lady, I sold 4 CD's - all to her!!

The drive home was another 90 minutes and thank goodness I had brought a friend along with me that night for the company. As I drove I chalked it up to another musical experience in the glamorous life of a recording artist! Actually I said "God, why do I still have to do these gigs to so few people?"

About 10 days after the concert I received an email from a woman who had been there that night.She was in attendance because of my Facebook posting about the concert. Coincidentally she had emailed me earlier in the week looking to purchase another copy of my Naked Soul CD as she had lost hers. The song "Deep Need" was really helping her through a time of grief around the loss of her mother. I was about ready to mail the CD to her but then she saw the posting and decided to come for the concert and then she could buy the CD in person.

What she wrote really took be aback.She said the song and video "The Strong One", which I played and performed that night, had really impacted her. She said that if it wasn't for hearing and seeing the video of "The Strong One" that night, she was planning on leaving her husband the very next day.

I reread what she wrote, again and then again - just to make sure I had read correctly.My throat tightened up and my eyes slowly welled with tears. My mind immediately travelled back to that night of the small intimate crowd. It all made sense now. I knew it wasn't about me. It never is about me. Everything was put in perspective. I was once again reminded why I sing - why I write, why I have opened up my life so freely for others to look at. And most importantly how my healing journey points them to the One who has brought me through so much.

I then thanked God for showing me He always has a greater plan in the midst of my weakness and many insecurities.

Once again - humbled.

Kelita

Who's Gonna Love Me?

2010-05-27T17:33:00.000-07:00

Last week two of my best girlfriend's each lost a parent. As I now find myself middle aged, sadly, this is going to be more of a regular occurance.

On Saturday I sang at my good friend Kath's father's funeral. Denny had been a fan of my music from way back so I was very happy to offer to sing one last time for him. I sang a few old favorites like Amazing Grace and What A Friend We Have In Jesus. I told Kath I had a new song, which has been recorded for my fall CD release "Heart of a Woman", that I knew would be fitting, but may be too sad. I emailed the lyrics to her and she read them to her mom....twice. Her mother said she would like for me to sing the song.

I put on my best professional face and sat at the front of the chapel behind the keyboard the entire service. Not an easy thing to do. When I sang the new song I knew there would be tears,but I focused on my song and did my best not to become emotional myself. The response after the funeral was very humbling and people had been touched by the song that I had written.

The song was inspired by a married couple that I barely knew. Two years ago I had accompanied a friend to visit this couple in the hospital where the husband was dying of two brain tumours. I was very blessed to be able to pray for them that day and it was a special meeting that I will always remember.

Inspiration for my songs always comes from real life. My own experiences and those I observe around me. I lost my mother to cancer as a young teenage girl and stood by her bedside watching her take her last breath.

Yesterday Rhonda Glenn, a friend from several years back at our church, and former co-host of 100 Huntley St sadly passed away from an inoperable brain tumour. She was only diagnosed April 28th. Rhonda leaves her husband Ray David and their young 7 year old son Matthew.

Last week Kath and her family stood by Denny's bedside and sadly this week Ray David and young Matthew stood by Rhonda's.

Rhonda may you rest in peace my beautiful sister. You will be dearly missed. Thank you for your compassionate heart and sensitive spirit. You touched so many lives including mine. Ray David - thank you for your strength and courage to accept God's decision so faithfully. Matthew may you always remember your mother and the unconditional love she so adored you with.

Who's Gonna Love Me

Don't be afraid I'm right here
Until the end I'm not goin' anywhere
So close your eyes and rest my dear
And when you wake up I'll still be here

We used to laugh until we'd cry
Hold eachother in our sleep at night
And in the morning just before the sun
You would wake me with your kiss
And then you'd love me

There's any empty bed and here's a broken heart
Everything in me has fallen apart
Drowning in a pool of tears
Now you're gone and I'm still here

We used to laugh until we'd cry
Hold eachother in our sleep at night
And in the morning just before the sun
When I'm reminded that you're gone
Who 's gonna love me.
Who's gonna love me
Who is gonna love me.

Kelita Haverland, Heart & Soul Music
copyright 2010

I Love that Kid!

2010-05-06T18:37:00.000-07:00

Today I was in a meeting when my cell went off and I naturally thought it was my husband Gord, as he's my most frequent caller (and I love him for it)...so I decided I would quickly answer and tell him I would call him back. However when I heard the voice at the other end my heart jumped a happy jump and skipped a beat as I heard, "Hi Auntie"! It was Chris, my sister's eldest son who was calling from Fernie BC. Immediately I felt the love in his voice as he asked me"How are you?"

"Oh Chris I'm in a meeting I can't talk right now." Then my mind said, oh what the heck at least say more than hello. "How are you? It's so good to hear your voice. Hey when are you getting married?"... I was half joking because not even 10 days ago he sent me a text to tell me he was

a) in love

b) setting his trampolines up in his yard ( he has 3 or maybe it's 4)

3) in great shape

4) working hard

But if the truth be known I would love for him to say he was getting married, because then I might be one step closer to becoming a Grandma! How selfish of me right? Well I don't know, I think he would make a great dad. Did I really say the word Grandma? Yes, even at my age I love the idea. My sister passed away when Chris was 20 so I would love to be a surrogate grandma. And better Chris who's nearly 27 than my only son Keldon who's just 17!!! Ok - I will wait.

I love it when Chris just phones me out of the blue like that. I did try to call him back later, like I said I would but I'm sure he was out enjoying his day off, probably entertaining himself in the small resort town of Fernie in beautiful British Columbia , where he has grown up fearlessly riding his bike down man made ramps, jumps, dangerous ski hills and jumping off bridges, ledges and a yardful of trampolines! He's a man of extreme sports and his personality suits it.

I find it hard to believe that my sister has almost been gone for 7 years. I know how much I miss her so I can only imagine how much he misses her. They were so close. I don't think anything made my sister more proud than her handsome, funny, adventurous, loving son Christopher. Never one to shy away from hugs and kisses, always so generous with his affection, even as a grown adult Chris just has that special 'something'.

I guess I will have to wait to see to see Chris exchanging the same kind of love with his own child, but until that time I will wait with anticipation, knowing that one day he will experience the same kind of undconditional love that his mother had for him.

Thanks for the call Chris. I love you very much.

Auntie
xo

Daily Life Retreat

2010-04-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

Wow!! Where did the week go? I am feeling rather spent today. It could have something to do with the fact that I was awake very early and then actually up at 6:30 am. Unheard of for a musician - well that is until I had Keldon, who is now 17. He has late starts a few times a month on Thursdays and I LOVE those mornings. However, when I do get up early I find that I really enjoy it. The quiet stillness, the sun coming up, time to just 'be' without having to rush the minute my feet hit the floor. A time to think, to pray, have breakfast. Breakfast- how novel.

Well today I was up early because I started my Daily Life Retreat which is a spiritual retreat held at The Meeting House where I attend church. The retreat is for busy people who can't get away to 'get away'. That would be me!

I was actually out of my house just after 7am. I met the buzzing roads that were already busy with traffic and off I went. I didn't listen to my favorite radio station( which is CBC) but was consciously preparing myself to meet with God and my spiritual director. I know it sounds rather formal but I have never had a spiritual director...I mean not really.

I arrived 10 minutes early but my spiritual director was awaiting her first client, ME. (um I'm not really sure what I was...or am to be called) I wonder what they call us? Retreatants perhaps.This lovely woman had travelled here for the week from Quebec and is staying in Toronto with friends, so I can only imagine she must have been up at 5! She is a Pastor's wife who has left her husband and 3 children (well only for the week). I liked this woman the moment she smiled and I sensed her soft and gentle spirit. I was thankful to be there and to have managed to put aside this time for me and for God. I have been wanting to take part in this ever since my church held this the first time 3 years ago. Either I was off travelling with my music or I was just too busy. I have a song called "Too Busy".

I have felt for quite some time that my personal intimate time in God's word has been stale and quite frankly non existent for weeks on end...gee maybe even years. Ouch. I have found it difficult to carve out a disciplined and consistent time which I could dedicate to meeting with and hearing from God. Praying on the 401 while driving can be quite hazardous...well especially if you feel you must close your eyes! Trying to read the bible just before turning out the light at bedtime often means that God is getting the dregs of the day and if I don't hit the gym first thing in the morning then I'll never get there. So...guess what, that's right I haven't been able to fit Him in!

After introductions we sat comfortably in our cozy chairs, candle flickering and opened ourselves up to the Holy Spirit. Through a few moments of deep breathing and then a prayer of protection we made our invitation to the Holy One. The scene was set. Our time was spent in a sacred space and I soaked it all up. My director slowly read aloud to me a passage of scripture I had spent time meditating on the night before in my quiet time as I prepared for our initial meeting.

Apart from the daily meeting we are required to set aside at least 30 minutes to read, meditate, journal and listen. She then read the passage once again and asked me to tell her what was jumping out at me, what was personally speaking to me. I talked, she listened, and then guided and directed me. She read it again and I elaborated on what I thought God was saying to me through this piece. I had actually journaled from my time alone so I read some of that to her. We started to connect right away. I liked this woman already. Before I knew it my time was up and she invited me to come back at 7:10 am (yes that's not a typo) the next morning, as she said she would be there and willing to spend the extra time. Before leaving my director handed me my day 2 sheet with my choice of scriptures to choose from for the next session.

I left my first session with great anticipation for my time alone that evening. I LOVED it and felt so positive, and less guilty because I had done it!! YEAH! I had made the commitment to God and myself for a daily spiritual retreat.

I am picking up from where I left off on Monday - yikes! Sorry about the delay. Starting my day so early now has totally thrown me. I'm ready for bed after the dishes!

Wow since embarking on this Daily Retreat I can't even begin to say how much has taken place these past 4 days.This time which I have dedicated to my personal spiritual growth has proved to be enlightening, refreshing, meaningful, revealing and profound. I have heard God's voice (well not audibly, but in the way He speaks to me) felt his deep and overwhelming Fatherly love, experienced His direction and affirmation for this new season in my life and have been challenged and encouraged. Yes God has done ALL that and more.

I can't believe it's Friday tomorrow - my last day with my very own personal spiritual director. It's been a privilege and an honour. After my session tomorrow morning I will have shared almost 5 hours with someone, who on Monday, was a complete stranger. In that time I have cried, spilled my heart & soul, revealed my weaknesses, acknowledged strengths, shared dreams and visions and allowed this person to guide and direct one of the most personal and intimate parts of who I am. I have walked away with a new confidence in the woman that I am becoming and a continued wonder in the child of God that I have always been.

I will be ready to face the world again, as I am each day, however I will be getting up earlier and He won't just be getting the dregs. Time to go, day 5 sheet awaits me.... and so does He.

I am gratefully yours,

Kelita

Really getting REAL!

2010-04-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I met Catherine in Waterloo at a Starbucks. Catherine and I have only met once and that was backstage at the Heavenly Night fundraiser in the dimly lit backstage area in December /09. This time I could see her lovely smile in the natural light. Her gentle spirit just exuded from her. I already knew that I liked her but you know how it is when you see someone in the flesh.They come alive. Yeh - ha! no kidding!

First of all I loved what she was wearing and I wanted a blouse just like hers! She had on a pair of jeans with this beautiful sheery feminine soft blue blouse with little designy thingees in the material, peeking out from underneath her jean jacket. Her face was soft and her eyes - warm.

Perhaps I should have asked her where she bought her blouse. I actually hate clothes shopping. I have never been a good shopper, of anything for that matter. Do you know how long it takes me just to choose a chocolate bar? Not that I eat them very often but I admit I have to be one of the worst decision makers that I have ever known.Sometimes when I am grocery shopping I just stand in the aisle and stare at the shelf. Part of me is trying to decide what I'm going to cook that night while the other part of me is screaming ,"Why is this so hard? Just buy the food and go home." Please tell me I'm not alone on this one.

I have, for many years fooled people with my lack of fashion sense. I just have no clue.Style? What's that? My closet is a mish mash of what might have been popular 2 years ago - or even 10 years ago.Mix and match? HUH? You see I have always been given hand me downs ( how do you spell that) for as long as I can remember so I never had to decide what to buy OR wear.It was all done for me. I never really had the opportunity to develop my own personal taste.... cause maybe I actually do possess some kind of taste. While growing up, my cousin Rhonda was the same age as me (technically I was older) but she grew very tall at a young age and so with every growth spurt I got her lovely hand me downs.I still have a friend Sue who downloads on me every few years. She has very good taste so I'm safe with Sue. Thanks Sue!

I also think part of my dilemma was that while growing up on a farm, when my mother did shop for me, so much of it was done through the Sears Catalogue. EEK I hate aging myself.How is one ever going to acquire good taste shopping from the Sears catalogue?I did love looking through it however. Many hours were spent picking out the next season of school clothes. The problem was they NEVER looked like the photos once they arrived and often the colour wasn't anything like you thought you were getting. One time when my mother was ordering me clothes that were meant to be given to me as Christmas presents, (forever practical) she blindfolded me and had me try them on to make sure they fit - before wrapping them all up and placing them under the Christmas tree. Surprise!!

WARNING:
DO NOT try this at home - it's very dangerous. Please do this ONLY under adult supervision. One can easily lose their balance when trying to dress and undress one's self while blindfolded!

Oh my dear mother. She wasn't much of a fashion expert. She usually only bought clothes when they were on sale, no matter how ugly. But hey a deal was a deal.She learned well from my Grannie.( not like Grannie on The Beverley Hillbillies) I think she probably faked it just like me. I loved my mother dearly.

I do however want to get back to Catherine.Yesterday she was the one who was coaching me on how I need to write for my new blog.She was telling me that I needed to just write like I was having a conversation, with all the honesty and vulnerability I could divulge. I have actually prided myself (is there a healthy pride- I sure hope so) with the fact that I am very open and honest.However, I would never want to say anything that might make someone think less of me, God forbid - or change their image of who they perceive me to be.So...I decided right there and then that I was going to have to find a new level when it came to the real factor.

But if people ONLY knew! It's all smoke and mirrors really. Being on TV and radio, travelling around the world singing, married to a wonderful man with a great teenage son. I am truly blessed there is no doubt but I am just an ordinary woman. And I am still the proverbial people pleaser. Oh yes that's right, it's just that I used to be much much worse! After all I am a performing artist.For as long as I can remember I have been looking for affirmation. My first performance was in the basement of the United Church in Carmangay, Alberta where I recited a poem, dressed up like an old lady. I was five! The church ladies adored it. I was hooked. There was never any looking back. Be cute, funny, poignant,talented, athletic, crazy,witty, sassy and you'll be approved.

Perhaps it comes from a childhood where love, affection and approval were pretty much absent after my parents died ( dad when I was 11 and mom, when I was 15). Or maybe it was that my parents were so occupied with all their own problems, pain and dysfunction that they could never truly ever begin to fill the gaping hole inside their own hearts. Or perhaps it's just there in all of us no matter how much approval, love or attention we get. We can just never get enough.

I love God and I know He loves me. I consider myself to have a very close relationship with Him. I also know He's supposed to be able to fill up every need in me, but, if I am really getting real with you - how come there's still that longing in me to be more loved and more approved?

Perhaps when I see Him one day I'll be so overwhelmed by His perfect love
that the question won't even exist. In the meanwhile I just wanted to say that I hope as I really get real with you you'll learn that I am just a normal (whatever that means) middle aged woman with all the same insecurities, fears and longings as you, still needing to be accepted, loved and adored.

Yours,

Kelita

2010-04-09T13:07:00.000-07:00

Well here I go!This is my first entry in the world of blogging. I have now officially joined the ranks.

I guess from here on I had better be mindful of my choice of words. It does seem like a different kind of pressure when it's posted here. I guess if you (who ever you might be) are going to hear from me very often I had better get rid of my perfection 'thing' when it comes to writing. I am a songwriter and so used to editing, editing and more editing, what I have to say, into 3 verses and one chorus. I hope that this new challenge will stretch me. In some ways I am a bit tentative and in others excited to see what this whole blogging 'thing' might bring.

I am very excited to be working on a brand new website at www.kelita.com. It's hard to believe that I have had kelita.com for 10 years. It has served me well and been an extraordinary asset for connecting me with new and old friends from around the world.Dare I say long before those who invented Facebook were even out of their diapers.

I also am working on my dream come true CD soon to be released. I have changed the title for the CD too many times now so until I really have made a final decision I am simply going to call it "the new CD". Who knows maybe that's it! The New CD by Kelita. So now when people go to the store they just say I'd like The New CD by Kelita. Works for me. Whew! Wow so far this blogging 'thing' has already made a difference in my thinking. LOL.

I think next time around I will write about the antique piano that I am seated at in the photo. It has a story that I would love to share with you.

Thanks for dropping by. I am not sure if I should think of a way of signing off, you know, something clever and creative to use every time. I'll go with something safe for now.

Your baby blogger!

Kelita

April - January Dates!

2010-04-08T12:09:00.001-07:00

January 15-22, 2011

Live Love Laugh Caribbean Cruise

With Kelita & Joanne Goodwin.

http://www.livelaughlovecruise.ca/ for more info.